Chapter 2 – E04



We got on the road an hour later. It was late at night, about 11pm, but I didn’t care, even if we had to stop and rest, we were finally on the road.

The ride was nice. We really got to listen to the fullest, each others music. We had YouTube and an unlimited data cell phone plan, as well as an auxiliary cord to plug into the radio in the rental car. We had fun and enjoyed each other’s company and the ride.

The first sign of trouble came in the state of Pennsylvania. I was going about 80mph with a group of other drivers in a wide open area of road, me being in the passing lane, when all of a sudden, a state cop pops out of nowhere. He hit his blue lights and pulled me over. I was terrified because I was not supposed to be driving the rental. Luckily for me, he just gave me a speeding ticket and let me go on, but, I had a real problem from the event. I was on license probation from an earlier speeding ticket, and if I got any tickets while on this year long probation, I would get my license suspended. I had only 5 or so days left until that probation. I was really hoping that this ticket wouldn’t show up in the state that I lived, but I was definitely wrong.

After 12 hours, we ran out of money for gas, and after figuring out how long it would take to get where we were going, we called gran to get some more money. That only took 2 hours or so, and then we finally got back on the road. We really were not prepared for this trip at all. We went on a whim without any actual planning. The only part we that was planned was where we were going to stay. We took this trip with no money of our own.

We finally got to Long Island 18 hours later and after another hour, finally pulled up to her aunt’s house. She invited us in and we ate dinner. We told her the plan while there, but things were quickly falling away from what I wanted.

In order to get to Manhattan, I would have to drive an hour back, or take a train. Either way, we didn’t have any money for gas or for the train, so I was very limited on what to do here.

We ended up getting $20 from her aunt, but when it was time to get on the train, Lucy wanted to sleep in, instead of going to Times Square with me. It really aggravated me, but I took the train there and tried to pass out cards.

I was really excited. There are LED boards 20 stories up in the air all over Times Square, and after talking to a bunch of vendors there, I finally found a place that would allow me my 30 seconds of fame, which was the opportunity to put a picture of my business card up on one of the LED’s. The store liked the charity I was contributing to with my game, so they allowed me to put the card up for free.

I then went outside and waited. I asked a guy that walked by if he would like to check out my game and he said “Yo, where are you from guy?” I told him my state and he said “Yeah, well, why don’t you go back there. I’m from Brooklyn and I will smack the stuff out of you” I said, “I’m sorry for bothering you”, and went back to wait for my card to pop up on the LED.

I started to tell people walking by that my card was about to pop up on the screen and some started waiting with me, but it was taking too long, and just as I was about to go in and check with the store, all the LED’s in the Square changed blue. Apparently Microsoft had bought out all of the space for this time of night to promote the launch of the Surface. I was so let down. This trip was not working at all. I had timed that card going up on the LED perfectly to match the start of the event in my state, and now I didn’t even get to promote like I wanted to. I should have stayed In my state. All the time and effort spent on building and preparing this game for launch, just to follow some whimsical idea ruined everything for the game. And, as I checked the stats of the game online, nothing changed. The game did poorly. I was so let down and just wanted to get back home so I could move on with my life.

Lucy and her aunt called me and told me that they were downtown. I told them where I was and had them pick me up.

The next day, Lucy and I got into an argument, and I was really ready to leave her behind. Unfortunately, she wasn’t feeling good. She had told her aunt this and her aunt asked her what the symptoms were. She told her.

Her aunt suggested that Lucy get a pregnancy test, and went and bought her one.

An hour later, we were pregnant. I remember thinking right then and there, “It’s okay, I can make this work. I won’t leave. I want to be in this child’s life.” That was the worst split-decision I have ever made. FYI, a child is not an excuse to stay with someone you don’t like. Let’s get into the “Why”.

When we got back to my state, things just kept getting worse. I found a job serving tables, which was completely new to me, but, because l had passed out almost 10,000 business cards for my game and had really only that bad incident in Times Square, so I wanted to try serving. I excelled. I learned the ropes and became better than any other guy at my restaurant.

What was interesting was that there was a 7″ Android tablet on every table. I started wondering if I could get my game on this tablet, and started attempting to do such. I got a hold of the company that owned the tablets, and requested that I put my game on it. They asked me to send the game to them, and I did. They loved it and said if I just made a few simple changes, they would put the game up and see how it did. I said I would see what I could do and get back to them.

About a month after getting back from New York, Lucy and I were arguing one night, and she had a female friend over, this friend having an infantdaughter.

We had literally argued for 4 hours straight, at which point this friend comes in and says, “Can you please quit arguing with her, my child is trying to sleep and you are going to wake her up.” I said, “Lady, get the heck out of here. This is our house. Stupid woman meddling”.

This pissed her off so much that she punched me in my mouth while I was lying in bed. I was already in flames so I jumped up, grabbed her around her neck in a chock hold for a few seconds, the pushed her down the hall away from me. She jumped up and came back swinging. I pushed her hands out of the way and accidently smacked her in the face closed fisted. Not hard, but immediately I told her l didn’t mean to do that. I would never punch a woman. I know better. Still, it happened.

Gran came in saying that she called the police. That freaked me out because of an incident that had happened with my ex-wife (I got a D-Felony Battery for smacking the phone out of her hand). At this point, Lucy and gran surrounded me, pushing me into a corner. She said to me “just relax, everything will be fine. Wait for the cops to get here”. I told her to get out of my way. She wouldn’t so I pushed her down (2 months pregnant) onto a pile of laundry. Again, not hard, but does it matter?

I ran out of the house, jumped into the car I had bought recently with my dad’s help, and drove away at high speed. 1 pulled off the main road, backed into Lucy’s aunts house that lived about 2 miles from us, and waited to see what activity happened. Just as I knew would happen, a cop flew past me going in my last known direction. I started the car and went the opposite direction, I was terrified.

After an hour or so, I called Lucy. She said everything was fine, told me that they just wanted statements, and told they told her friend to go home.

Moving forward to a point just after I talked to that company about putting my game on their tablet, I was pulled over for having one taillight. At this point I was arrested for B-Misdemeanor Battery Resulting In Pain for pushing Lucy. I hadn’t got to see the statement she wrote months before, but apparently she had told them about me pushing her, and instead of me getting in trouble for fighting her friend, or her friend getting in trouble for punching me while I was lying down, I got in trouble for pushing her.

I was arrested and within an hour bonded out by gran at Lucy’s request. I was pissed about finding out she wrote a statement on me, but thankful that she got me bonded out. I had never been bonded out before. That was a first and I felt loved and betrayed at the same time. It was confusing.

Well, the month prior to my arrest, I had been working on a new game designed specifically for that tablet on the tables. I had had 2 choices: 1.) Try to find the money to get my old game updated for $2,000 via new investors who would have to deal with my current investor, or 2.) find $2,500 to build a new game with new investors.

When I got bonded out, I started talking to my bond agents about investing into a game with me, and after 2 weeks, they agreed! I never expected them to want to do this, but they said they wanted to expand their portfolios and this would be something new for them.

I started working immediately. At the same time, I got an email from a girl I never expected to hear from again, This girl was pregnant with another child of mine at the same time and was 7 months along. This woman though, didn’t want me in the child’s life. She was a nurse and was more than capable of caring for the child. I was basically a sperm donor for her.

When she wrote me, it was to tell me that she had had our baby girl, but that she was premature. She was going to let me know how things progressed. 8 days later, I got an email that said the baby was not expected to live beyond a year and that she and I had to make a decision as whether or not to pull the plug on her life. 1 was devastated. I was never even supposed to know anything more about this child, and here this woman comes and tells me that I have to kill one of my children

I didn’t want Lucy to know about me having another child, because from the very get go, I had told her that I didn’t have any children. Now technically, I did, but I didn’t since I was supposed to have no responsibility in with our child.

While trying to hide this from her, she went into my email and found out the truth. She was pissed because at the time, she was 6 months pregnant and thought that OUR child was my only child. We ended up making it through it, but only because my daughter ended up passing away. The night that I was told that I would have to make a decision about my daughters life, I told her the other woman I was on my way to the hospital. When I got there though, I couldn’t find her anywhere, nor could I find my daughter in the registry. I tried and tried to call her, but she wouldn’t answer. The next day though, she called me and told me that our daughter had died and that she would call me with the funeral arrangements. I never even got to meet my daughter alive and she never did call me with the arrangements. I have only a picture of her to remember her, from just after she was born. The one thing important about this situation was this: I didn’t have to decide to whether or not to take my daughter’s life. God did this for me and for that I am grateful.

Now all I was waiting for was the birth of my other child. I had hoped things would get better in life.

At this point, something happened that changed my life. Ralph had left a little baggy of meth on the side of the bathtub. I was very distraught at this time. I was going through so much and I just wanted to get high. I finally decided to try meth. I took the baggy, some aluminum foil and a straw, went out to the car, and smoked it just like I had seen Ralph doing. It was amazing. I had just tried meth for the first time.

I didn’t make it a habit to do. In fact, over the next year, I only did it 3 more time, all within 3 days. I tried to avoid doing it because it made me much more sexual, able to last longer, and I felt like Lucy could tell when I was high.

Those 3 days, I went over to one of Ralph’s friend’s house, someone that used, and asked him to get high with me. I went to his house because I Lucy and I got into an argument I packed my stuff, and his was the first place I thought to go. He needed help remodeling his house, and he said I could stay if I helped him. I agreed. This caused all kinds of problems.

When she found me, she knew from that point on that I was getting high. Over the next few days, we started talking to each other again, trying to workthings out.

One day though, I took the car and went to my buddy’s house. She didn’t want me going there anymore though, because I told her I wouldn’t get high from then on. I lied. I pulled the car Into the backyard and went inside. I got some meth off of him, went into the bathroom, started masturbating, and all of a sudden, I heard a knock on the front door. It was Lucy. I could hear her saying “where is he?” My friend said “He hadn’t seen me”, and she said, “Do you think I’m stupid? My car is parked out back of your house, Where is he?” So he let her in. I was trying to clean up from the lotion when she barged in saying “WHAT THE HECK? I thought you were done?”

From that point, I was done. For the time being at least.

Gran and I started arguing a lot. She started getting dementia is what her family was telling me, but they weren’t taking their own words to heart.

Whenever gran would get mad at me, if Ralph was in the house, he would take personal offense and try fighting me. If gran told him to throw me out of the house, he would try. Lucy and I constantly had to move into weekly hotels while waiting for gran to come back down to earth. It was ridiculous. Lucy kept coming with me to the motels even though she didn’t have to. It was her excuse to say that she was going through things with me. Whenever she would say that, I would say “but you don’t have to, so stop acting like you have problems”. I was the one being targeted, even though she was 6, 7 and 8, months pregnant along. At this time, you would have thought that her family would have been more considerate of her pregnancy, but they are very selfish. They only thought about themselves. It was disgusting.

I was making a lot of money a day during this time, but here is the thing: I was spending money on crack again. I had someone at my work that could get it. So, instead of telling Lucy how much I actually made serving tables each night, instead I would put back a certain amount so I could get high, only telling her the total amount AFTER I took out my dope money. I usually made about $100 a day, but when I started smoking crack again, I was telling her I made only $25 to $50 a day, with the excuse that “work was slow.”

I had been caught smoking crack 2 times before by her. She always knew when I was out getting high because I wouldn’t answer my phone for hours, when I normally would answer it. Every time she would catch me, I would have to come back and tell her that I spent all my money, and to “please take me back. I have a problem. Please forgive me.” Remember, I didn’t want to be with her in the first place. I only wanted to be in my child’s life. She would always take me back after a couple of hours though.

All summer I just kept getting kicked out and it was frustrating. We were also doing a lot of pills at this time. Gran would get 150 7.5 Vicodin each month, sell 75 to 100 of them and give the rest to us, We used them for sex and never got addicted. It was a lot of fun.

At the end of the summer, when she was 9 months pregnant, gran kicked me out again. We luckily had a buy here/pay here crossover and so what I ended up doing was getting a tent and camping about a half mile down the road from my new work. It was awesome.

Finally, one night, while in the tent, it was raining outside and we decided to have sex. Everything was right about the situation to make it the most memorable sex I have ever had. To top it all off, just as I came, she told me her water just broke.

Off to the hospital we went. She was admitted and I had to get high. I told her that I was going to get some weed, which I did. It took me 2 hours to find some. She was so pissed when I got back saying “what if I would have had the baby?” I was just like, “sorry, I needed to get high”

While we were in the hospital, Ralph called us and told us that he was working on something at the trailer for us. I said “right on” and let him know where she was at in having the baby, then hung up.

After 8 hours, my son started having heart problems. His pulse would go up real fast then plummet. The doctors monitored this then finally came to agreement that the baby needed to come out right then and there. They set her up for a C-section and within minutes had cut my son out of this woman.

I had never felt more love for anything in my life. When they put my son in my arms, I knew my life would be changed forever. I thought, at least.

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